an almost impossible distance between us 
 if you died i probably wouldn't know until a week to four months later 

 it feels like i am going to be fixated on one person for the rest of my life 

 i can't remember a conversation we had about anything concrete 
 were you really always under the influence and/or vague 
 telling stories about almost dying in foreign countries 

 unblinking eye contact under blankets 

 i never knew you 
 if the self is an illusion, maybe there wasn't anything inside of you for me to know 

 i have almost completely transformed a human being into an abstract concept now